Out with 2010...New Year's Eve

Hi World!

Today is the last day of 2010.  Jane and I made our usual trek to Draper.  We always stop at Einstein's and get us a bagel for the trip down, then we stop at Fresh Market in Draper (Jane calls it the Draper Store).  We have to find the cart that is the taxi cab that she drives around the store.  I buy stuff for lunch - today it was bananas, bread, and ham, then we head to Grandma and Grandpa's.  Where I clean and Jane mostly talks.  Today her and Grandpa and Grandma watched the Power Puff Girls on Cartoon Network. 

Mom told me that Nancy had been out earlier in the week and helped her take down the Christmas decorations and clean out the two bedrooms.  Mom and Dad have bought a new sleep number bed and are expecting it to be delivered in the next couple of weeks.  Thanks Nancy for helping them get ready!

While I was washing dishes a man from First Choice Home Health stopped by.  He came by to check and make sure Mom and Dad had their insurance in place with the new Medicare laws that are going into effect tomorrow.  Mom assured him that they had already did whatever it is that they needed to do with their policy and got a new insurance card.  The home health guy is also going to follow up for Mom on getting her new wheelchair.

They have no plans for New Year's Eve and don't think they will even be able to stay up past their normal bedtime (they usually lay down about 8ish and turn off the light and go to sleep about 9:30 or 10?.

That's it for today!  ttyl.

Christmas!

Hi y'all,

On Friday (Christmas Eve), Jane accompanied me to Grandma and Grandpa's house.  I cleaned.  Mom wasn't doing too well, she was in a lot of pain.  She laid down for a while, Jane, of course, went with her and visited her in the bedroom.  Mom said it helped her keep her mind off the pain.  By the time I left, Mom was doing better.  She used an electrical thingy that the home health nurse left for her.  It seems to help.

We didn't go down on Christmas Day, but Deborah and I went on Sunday, the day after.   We played cards, and Mom seemed to be doing better.  She played with us, and we won!  Hooray for Mom and me!

A week before Christmas....

My Friday trip to Mom and Dad's was the normal routine - clean and cook lunch while Grandpa does everything Jane tells him to!  It was a little different in that Mom went and laid down shortly after we got there.  I was concerned and some of the old fears came back.  I had Dad ask her if she had checked her blood sugar.  He came back and said she had.  Then, however, she only laid down for about 30 minutes, then was up and visiting.  I do think that she is in quite a bit of pain these days. 

Our traditional Petty Family Christmas Party was Sunday night.  Nancy made arrangments for us to Grandma and Grandpa's ward house.  I think it went very well!  Mom and Dad got there early, and left right after the gift exchange.  We had dinner, a slide show, the nativity acted out by the great-grandkids, and the gift exchange.  Here are some pictures: 

I counted 41 people that came!  Cory, Charisse, and Little Henry all the way from California.  Cool!

                                     Lucas and Aleigha were Joseph and Mary.

           The two babies, Nicole and Henry, were the sheep.  They stole the show!

Thanks to everyone that came and helped with the party! Our family is getting so big!

Saturday and Sunday

Hi Everyone!  Jane and I went to visit Grandpa and Grandma on Saturday this week.  It was a pretty routine visit, I cleaned and cooked, Jane played and sat on Grandpa's lap watching tv.  Somehow, every week, she gets them to watch some kid show with her.  This week it was Barney, then the Backyardigans.  I remember the old days when Dad gave us a hard time about watching the Wizard of Oz once every year!  Times, they have changed!

I didn't go out on Sunday because the family came to my house to celebrate my birthday.  Deborah took some spaghetti out to Grandma and Grandpa and visited for a few minutes.  Thank you Deborah!

Shopping!

Friday Jane and I went to Draper, as usual.  I cleaned the house while Jane, Grandma, and Grandpa watched a short Beauty and the Beast cartoon movie.  Jane even sat in Grandpa's chair - she has him wrapped around her little finger!

Today, Sunday, Deborah, Bill, Morgan and I all went down and played cards.  I took Dad a card and some Little Debbie Oatmeal Cream pie cookies for his birthday, which is tomorrow.  He is going to be 79 years old. 

Mom told me that they went shopping to the mall and WalMart on Saturday.  They bought Dad a coat at Penney's and Mom had some new jewelry on - really pretty snowflake earrings. 

I agree with you Kaylene, I think they are doing really good.  Mom is getting around more than she used to, but what I have noticed most is her demeanor.  She seems more content than she did even a few months ago.  Now when I go out she is most often dressed with a little makeup on.  Today she just looked beautiful and was laughing and joking!  Dad is still pretty much the same, but his mood seems to mirror Mom's most of the time.

Don't forget to call Dad tomorrow!  Loves!

Decorating

Jane and I ventured to Draper, via Costco (to pick up shakes for Dad) yesterday morning.  When we got there we decorated Mom's Christmas tree.  Unfortunately, we couldn't find the crocheted ornaments or the tree top that she usually uses (one crocheted for her by Janet).  sigh.  I searched the entire closet in the spare bedroom, plus the laundry room and storage room.  I can't figure out where they went.  Maybe in the entertainment center?  I didn't look in there.

I cooked bacon and tomato sandwiches for lunch.  Mom did request that in the future I only make her half a sandwich because with the fruit and chips, she has a hard time eating the whole thing.  While we were eating the physical therapist came.  Mom did some exercises with her arms and legs.  All went well!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Thanksgiving!  Mom and Dad went to Golden Corral with Rita and Marv today for thanksgiving dinner.  Both Nancy and I had invited them to our respective dinners, but they decided to go out instead. 

I took down a plate of food (including pie) for them to have later in the week, when they get hungry.  We were able to visit for awhile.  Mom let me know that she had the stress test on Tuesday, and it was harder than she thought it would be.  They have an appointment with their doctor to get the results on Monday, December 6th (Dad's birthday). 

I reminded them that I won't be out tomorrow because I am going shopping!  But I will be down on Saturday for the normal cleaning and am going to help them finish getting out their Christmas decorations.

Loves!

Dalton, Thanksgiving, and Becky

Hi!  Today Jane went with her family to Idaho to visit her other grandparents, so Dalton got to come with me to Grandma and Grandpa Petty's house!  When we first got there, he was a little hesitant and shy, but then he found the volleyball in the laundry room and had fun bouncing and rolling it all around!  He especially liked bouncing it off of the kitchen door.


Mom and Dad were doing fine.  Dad seemed a little more tired than usual and dozed in his chair part of the time while we were there.  I cleaned up and house and cooked the usual lunch, with an addition of twisty Cheetos that Dalton picked out!


Becky called while we were eating lunch.  She invited them to meet her for lunch since she was coming through town, but then decided to just stop by a visit.  Mom was already eating, and also was expecting the home health nurse to stop by at about the same time.


I again invited Mom and Dad to my house for Thanksgiving.  They haven't decided yet if they are coming, and were talking about going to Jim's for dinner because it is easy for them to get into and out of.  I told them if they changed their mind that they are always welcome at our house.  If they don't come up for dinner, then I plan on taking down some dinner to them later in the day.


ttyl

I am a Child of God

It is Tuesday.  The last time I talked to Mom and Dad was Sunday night.  Lisa and Nicole went with me down to play cards.  It was a lot of fun.  Mostly because Mom and I won!  Woot!  Woot!  We did have their undivided attention since the Jazz were on an off day!

I took down some chicken and fried potatoes with cream corn for them to have to eat sometime this week.  They had already had dinner, Kathy brought some to them. 

On Friday, Jane and I went down as usual.  The Home Health nurse came while we were there.  She gave Mom and little massage which Mom seemed to really enjoy.  Mom told her that she has been released from the Wound Care Clinic and is doing much better. 

While the nurse was helping Mom, Jane and Mom sang a duet "I Am a Child of God".  It was very touching, I liked watching them sing together!

We had ham sandwiches, potato chips, and oranges for lunch.  Yummy!

See you next week!

Hand and Foot

On Sunday, Deborah, Bill and Morgan went with me to play cards with Mom and Dad.  We had a fun time (though Dad cheats, he will deny it to the end, but he does - his favorite cheat is to slip a red three from his foot to his hand when the play is starting).  Mom and I had a good night and we won!

I took down some spahetti for them to eat.  Mom said that a neighbor had brought them some dinner over before we got there, so they put the spaghetti in the fridge to have another day.  Mom was very excited when I asked her about the Jazz game.  She told me how they were down by about 15 at the half, then came back and put the game into overtime.  The Jazz won in double overtime.  It was the most animated I have seen her in quite a while.

I have invited them to come to my house for Thanksgiving dinner, but they haven't accepted the invitation yet.  If they decide not to come, and they don't go to Nancy's or someplace else, then I will take some dinner to their house later in the day.

Haircut!

I gave Dad a haircut today!  His hair was getting a little shaggy, and I even cut the hair that was on his ear.  I am such a good daughter.  hee hee.


Mom and Dad seem to be doing well.  I cleaned the house and cooked lunch (fried ham sandwich).  Jane played and then the three of them watched some Mickey Mouse (literally) show on Comcast. 


The Home Health nurse isn't coming anymore, but a physical therapist is coming out, but I am not sure how frequently. 


Life is good!

Last week....

Hello to anyone and everyone who might be reading this blog (aka Kaylene and Nancy),


Jane and I went to Draper on Friday, following the usual schedule.  While I was cleaning the Home Health nurse came and took care of Mom's bandage and also put a virbrator on her that has been helping with the pain in her hip.  Her name was Kathryn (I think, I am also getting old and some things don't stick as well as they used to!).  Home Health has been coming out three days a week.


On Sunday, Lisa and Nicole went with me to play cards.  Mom was in pain then and did not play with us.  Her sore was hurting, and she didn't want to talk much about it, but did seem to cheer up a bit by the time we left.  I took out some roast beef with potatoes and carrots for them.   They had eaten the homemade chicken noodle soup I made for them last week just before we got there on Sunday.  I have made a note to make things that keep well in the refridgerator.


They did get trick-or-treaters on Saturday night, but no one came while we were there on Sunday. 


Loves,
Karrie

Oops

I forgot to report that Bill and Morgan went down to play cards with Mom and Dad on Sunday.  They did.  Dad and Bill won.  I sent down some homemade chicken noodle soup for Mom and Dad to have when they wanted.  That's about it!

And life goes on....

Today's visit with Mom and Dad was a pretty typical visit.  Jane went with me, I cleaned (we pulled out their chairs and vacuumed underneath today), had lunch, and came home.  We are settling into a nice little routine that works for everyone.

Mom told me that the Home Health nurse was there at 8 this morning to change her bandage.  When I asked how it was going she said okay.  The nurse is coming back on Monday again.

I hope you have a nice weekend!

Home Health Visits

Jane and I arrived at Mom and Dad's a little later than usual.  I was running late (my car battery was dead), and traffic heading down 13th East was awful!  There was construction most of the way!  So, we got there at about 11:00 a.m.  I started cleaning and doing my usual chores.

Mom told me that they were expecting a visit from a home health nurse.  She had that appointment with the Wound Care Clinic on Wednesday, and arrangments had been made for home health to come and change the dressing of the sore on her back each day.  They showed up about a half hour after I got there.  They did a thorough health check and assessment, then changed Mom's dressing.  They are going to come on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.  After that, they will reevaluate how the wound is healing and will probably drop their visits done to two or three times a week.  Mom was very receptive and seemed thankful that they were there.

Mom had a vase of her roses on the table by her chair.  The roses bushes had been trimmed (I assume that the Hicks did that) for the winter, and she got a beautiful bouquet for the house.

Jane and I left after the home health nurses had finished, at about 12:45 p.m.  Mom and Dad both had a ham sandwich and watermelon for lunch with me and Jane.

Happy Birthday Jeff!

Today is Jeff's birthday and it is 10-10-10, so we had a party.  I would say that we decided to have a party, but I was the only one who decided and Jeff went along with it (mostly because he didn't really have a choice).

Mom and Dad came up to our house to help celebrate!  They got here about 15 minutes early, true Petty fashion!  (Don't ever be on time to a Petty event because then you are actually late and they may have started to eat without you.)  We had a good time visiting with friends and ward members and family.  Mom and Dad both ate sandwiches and vegies and treats from the chocolate fountain.  They stayed a little over an hour and seemed in great spirits.

Dad mentioned that they drove by the wound care clinic where Mom has her appointment this Wednesday.  I know that he will feel much better having been by there before the actual day of the appointment.  He worries about finding where they need to go.

Thanks for coming Mom and Dad.  Love you!

Bed Sheets and the Remote

Hi There!  As of today there are 78 days until Christmas...just in case you didn't know.

Jane and I went to Draper together again today.  We had to stop at Costco on the way to pick up the Kirkland shakes.  Consequently, we arrived in Draper about a half hour later than usual.  I had called Mom earlier so that she could get Dad to put the bed sheets in the washer, so they could be dry and I could make up their bed while I was there.

When we got there the first thing I had to check out was the new blinds in the living room.  They looked really good!  It adds to the comfortness (is that a word?) of the room. 

I had to rush through the chores and lunch because I had an appointment I had to go to with Bill this afternoon.  But, I was able to finish everything, including making up the bed and sitting for a few minutes to eat lunch. 

Mom told me that her neighbor, Kathy, brought over some soup for dinner last night, after they had already eaten dinner.  They are going to have that soup tonight.  Thanks Kathy!

After my appointment, I had a message on my phone from Dad.  They couldn't find the remote for the tv in the bedroom, and wanted to know if I knew where it was.  I called them back and left a message that I hadn't seen it while I was there.  Later Mom called me back and let me know they had found it under the corner of the bed.

Mom received a phone call from a doctor while I was there.  She has a sore on her lower back.  She has an appointment with a wound care clinic next Wednesday.

It was a little chilly outside, but their house was toasty warm!

Phone calls and blogs

Hello Everyone (if anyone is actually reading this)!  Yesterday I had a message on my cell phone from Dad.  He expressed a need for me to pick them up some Kirkland shakes from Costco.  I am Mom and Dad's official Costco connection.  Every few weeks I pick them up a couple of cases of Kirkland Weight Loss Shakes.  Both him and Mom really like them.  He told me that they were out and could I get them some and when I could I bring them out.

I called back, Mom answered the phone.  I told her I could bring them on Friday when I normally come, or I could have someone bring them out sooner.  She said that Friday would be fine, it was only day after tomorrow.  I think that they are really close to be out, if they aren't already.  But, Mom said that they could survive without them for a day or two, if they are out.

Laura posted on her blog about playing cards with Grandma and Grandpa last Sunday.  You can read it and see pictures at clwampler.blogspot.com.

Have fun today!

We Won!

Grandma and I won at cards tonight!  It has been a long time since we won.  Hooray!  Laura went with me tonight and she was Dad's partner.  It was a close game, Grandma and I won the first hand, and then were behind until the last hand of the game.  But, in the end, we won!

I took out some spaghetti and taco soup for them to have available to eat when they want it.  They were both in pretty good spirits while we were there.

Washing Windows

Last Wednesday I called Mom and Dad to let them know that I wouldn't be able to come out on Friday.  We had some friends come into town for conference, and made arrangments for a breakfast get together Friday morning.  So, I was going to be in Draper on Saturday morning.  (I try to let them know early in the week when I can't be there on Friday, because then they have a chance to go to have lunch at the Senior Center on Friday.)  I talked to Dad, so I wasn't suprised when I got a voice mail from Mom later in the evening...she let me know that their new blinds had been delivered and were going to be installed in one week.  She told me she would like the big front window washed this weekend when I came and to let them know if they needed to get anything to do it.

So, Saturday morning, I picked up Jane and we headed South.  Dixie pulled into the driveway the same time I did.  She dropped something off for Mom, I am not sure what it was.  She was only there for a minute.

The first thing I did was wash the big window.  It wasn't too bad because they had been washed earlier in the summer.  I did struggle taking out the screens to wash the outside of the window.  But, they finally came out.  Mom had Dad put the screens in the shed until next Spring.  She didn't want them back up on the windows for now.

I finished the rest of my chores there while we listened to the morning session of Genera Conference.  It was actually very pleasant. I made ham sandwiches for lunch.  We had that along with a banana each.  Jane and I left just as the session ended.

Duty to God

Last Sunday I was unable to go to Mom and Dad's house to play cards.  There was a fireside for Michael and his parents to introduce the new Duty to God program for church.  Jeff wasn't feeling well enough to go with Michael, so I did.  I called Mom to let her know that I wasn't coming, and that Bill and Morgan would be coming in my place.

When Bill and Morgan came home, they informed me that Mom and Morgan creamed Bill and Dad at cards.  The girls won by more than doubling the score of the guys!  It always seems like the gals win when I am not there.  I can't remember the last time that we played and I won!  Oh well, like Dad says, it is all about having fun together!

Chickens in the Roses

Jane and I went to Mom and Dad's today for our usual Friday visit.  I cleaned the house, made ham sandwiches for lunch (Mom ate all of her sandwich and grapes, Dad was still working on his when I left), while Jane played and amused Grandpa. 

At one point while I was washing dishes, I noticed several chickens walking across the front yard.  Mom said that they were Jeannie's and they frequently come over and are digging holes in the roses.  She didn't care that they were digging in the roses because they never stay very long.  Jane went outside to look at them close, which scared about half of them away, but the others were very intent on making holes in the roses. 

Mom had several cards on the dining room table from friends and family for her birthday.  There were also daisies from Kaylene and her family.  Dad gave her some new earrings.

Thanks everyone for all that you do!

Birthday Banana

Today is Mom's birthday, she is 73 years old.  She was exactly 20 years old when I was born, so now you know how old I will be on my next birthday!

I called Mom this morning to wish her Happy Birthday.  I was in Price for work.  She told me that her neighbor, Jeannie brought her breakfast.  She brought an omelet, some fruit, and a half a banana.  She had put the banana on it's end and put a candle in it and then sang "Happy Birthday" to Mom.  That is so cool!  Thank you Jeannie!

I know that Mom was planning on going to lunch today with Becky and Nancy and some of the kids.  I have not heard how it went.  Does anyone know?

Family Birthdays

Deborah went with me to play cards with Mom and Dad tonight.  When we got there, Mom was asleep in her chair, but she woke up just after we came.  I gave her a birthday present (I know it is two days early).  It is a binder with all of the kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids pictures, birthdays, addresses and other contact information, along with a calendar with all the dates on it.  I think she liked it, but I am not sure (self-doubt is a weakness I need to overcome)!

We played cards, Dad and Deborah won, as usual.  (Though I do need to tell you that Dad cheats, but he will never admit it.)
Dad seemed a bit more sensitive today.  He said a couple of things wrong, and then when corrected, sarcastically apologized for making a mistake.  I am not sure if he is tired or what, but it was a little out of character for him.

Mom seemed okay.  I know that her leg is hurting her.  She said she has been sleeping on the chair in the living room because that is more comfortable than the bed.  She will start out in the bedroom and then later move into the chair.

I took down some spaghetti for them.  They had already had dinner though, so I put in the fridge so they can heat it up tomorrow.

Strawberries and Brown Sugar

I just got home from Mom and Dad's.  I got there late and didn't stay as long as usual because I am really tired and not feeling well.  I hope it is just from lack of sleep, I haven't had a full night's sleep all week.  Darn that Jr. High school starting so early!

Dad is doing well.  He pulled me aside early and told me that Mom has had a hard couple of days.  When I asked why, he said that her leg has been really hurting her.  He said that Mom had a doctor appointment on Thursday.  When I asked Mom, she said that she has had to keep an ice pack on it (it is her left leg).  She also told me that the appointment is with the doctor that did her last knee surgery.  His office is up by the Intermountain Medical Center on 53rd and State.

Mom showed me a picture of some new blinds that they are getting for their front room window.  Hooray!  The vertical ones they are using now are very old, and some slats are being held up by paper clips.  They went into JCPenney's yesterday and looked at all different types of window coverings including all kinds of blinds and drapes.  They settled on some horizontal slat blinds that are being custom made now.  They will have a woodlike finish.  Mom suspects they won't be installed until close to the end of the month.

Both Mom and Dad seemed tired.  That may be because I didn't get there until later and it is usually their nap time.  We all had an Einstein bagel with Garden Veggie cream cheese and strawberries to eat while I was there.  Yummy!

Earlier in the week a friend had taken them some strawberries and brown sugar for a treat.  Mom was told that people who raise strawberries in strawberry country like to dip them in brown sugar.  When Mom got ready to eat the strawberries, they couldn't find the brown sugar.  So, I found it today and Mom tried it with the strawberries.  She wasn't sure if she liked it or not.  I didn't even try it, because it doesn't sound very good to me and I don't need the extra calories!

Phone Calls

Mom called me yesterday.  She called to ask me what Laura's address is, she wants to send her and Chris an anniversary card (they got married on her birthday).  I told her the address and then reminded her that I would be out on Saturday to clean the house because I was going to the fair with the grandkids today (which I did, and it was fun mostly, the pigs are fat).

Later in the day Becky called me and asked if I wanted to go to a birthday lunch with Mom on Tuesday.  I can't because I will be in Price on Tuesday for work.  So, Becky will be here and I will be there!

Life is good.

Primary Songs

Deborah and I just got home from visiting Mom and Dad.  We played a game of hand and foot, Dad and Deborah won, sigh.  Mom and I tried.  I like playing much better when I win.

Mom mentioned that on two nights last week, they had friends who brought in dinner for them.  One night it was spaghetti and another night it was chicken soup.  Which is somewhat unfortunate because I took some homemade chicken noodle soup down to them tonight.  Mom just said that they would eat the best one.  I was left not knowing it that would be the soup I made or the soup the friends brought over.  Either way is good...at least they have choices and are eating! 

Dad talked about how good Sacrament Meeting was today, that the Primary kids did the program.  Mom pitched in that the Primary kids just sang the musical number.  A little later, Dad again mentioned how cute the Primary kids are when they did the program.

Dad again told me that Kaylene had called earlier in the week and how nice it was to talk to her.

Welcome!

Two weeks ago I had an emotional breakdown. It all had to do with worrying about my Mom and Dad. So, I have decided to start a blog so that I can write down how they are doing and how I am feeling. So, first, a little about Mom and Dad.

Mom and Dad have been married to 55 years. They have five children, 25 grandchildren, and 16 great grandchildren. They are living in their home of 36 years. Mom is diabetic and frail, but still smart and knows what she wants. She uses a Jazzy to get around the house, and they have a wheelchair to travel out and about. She is in pain a lot of the time due to her knees and hips, on which she has had surgeries. Dad can still get around pretty well. He goes to the mall everyday and walks with some longtime friends. However, his memory is not what it used to be. He functions well in the environment he is in, but if things happen out of the ordinary, he has a hard time adjusting and figuring out what is going on. He has dementia.

My name is Karrie and I am Mom and Dad's second child, first daughter. I live about 30 minutes away from them. I have been married for 33 years, have seven children and four grandchildren. I tend to be the one that people call when something happens with Mom and Dad, and I am supposed to have the answers and do what needs to be done. Hence, the emotional breakdown.

Now...what led up to my holing up in my bedroom and not being able to stop crying? Let me see if I can reconstruct...

On Sunday, August 22nd we had a family barbecue at Mom and Dad's house to celebrate their 55th wedding anniversary. It was fun, Mom and Dad participated, we took a lot of pictures.

On Wednesday, August 25th at 5:15 p.m. I received a phone call from my Aunt Bonnie. She informed me that the paramedics were at my parent's house because Dad couldn't wake up Mom. Her blood sugar was too low. This is the third time this summer that the paramedics have been called to come to their house for Mom. She appears to be having a hard time regulating her blood sugar. Dad said that earlier that day they had gone to Walmart and were going to go to a movie. At Walmart, Mom had trouble getting into the car and slipped onto the floor of the car instead of into the seat. Two Walmart associates helped her get into the seat. At that point she was too tired to go to a movie so they came home. At home, Mom laid down.

In the meantime, Scott and his sons had come to the house. They come out once or twice a week to take care of the yard and see how Mom and Dad are doing. They knew Mom was resting, but didn't worry about it because she frequently takes naps after lunch.

As the story goes (which this is from Dad so I am not sure how accurate it is) he tried to wake Mom up at 4:00 and couldn't, he tried again at 4:30 and she still didn't wake up. At 5:00 when he couldn't wake her, he went to Bonnie's and she called 911.

I drove out to their house and by the time I got there, the paramedics had left. Mom was sitting in her chair and eating some potato stix. She looked good. I, however, was feeling worried and stressed for a few reasons..First, of course, is that this was the third time this summer that the paramedics have been called. Second, I had a phone call the previous week from my sister, Becky. She had recieved a call from Dixie, a neighbor and church friend of Mom's. Dixie had stopped by to visit Mom before church and Mom was incoherent. The friend put a sugar pill under Mom's tongue and she came out of it and had a nice visit. She was concerned, and Becky was passing on the information to me.

I talked with Mom and Dad about what kind of care I thought they needed, and different options. I was feeling very anxious because Mom doesn't feel like she needs help. She feels that she and Dad can handle it. I told them I didn't think that a call to 911 once a month was a feasible ongoing health plan. We talked about having someone come to the house to help them or going to an assisted living center. I told them that most people have been telling me that they needed to be in assisted living. They both said that they wanted to stay home and be together as long as they could. I left frustrated.

The next day, my cell phone rang while I was at work. When I looked at the phone, it was from my parent's house. When I answered, no one was there. I was debating what to do when it rang again, it was from Mom's house again, when I answered again, no one was there again. Now I was worried - were they trying to get hold of me? What was going on? First, I called Aunt Bonnie next door, no one answered. I called Mom's cousin, Kenny, down the street, no one answered. I finally got hold of the next door neighbor, Jeannie. She was on her way home from work and said she would stop by to check on them for me. She called me back a few minutes later from their house. They were fine. The conclusion was that Mom pocket called me, she had the phone in the chair with her. I felt relieved.

But....when I left work I couldn't stop crying. I went straight to my room and cried, would pull myself together and then cry some more. I didn't know what to do beyond what we are already doing. (Which is: Nancy or her family go out once or twice a week on Monday - Thursday to check on them and help in the yard. I go out on Friday mornings to clean the house and cook lunch for them. Then I go out again on Sunday night, take them dinner, and play cards.) I know that I don't have any more time to go out without putting my job or family in jeopardy and I am pretty sure that Nancy is doing what she can. We are the only two that live close to Mom and Dad. The other siblings have agreed to call and check in at least once a week.

While I was not knowing what to do except cry, my brother Reed called from out of state. He was probably the only person I would have answered the phone for that night. I totally cried on his shoulder and unloaded. He told me what he contribute financially to their care if that is what was needed. He told me that he would support whatever we decided to do. I also realized while I was talking to him that the situation wasn't urgent. We didn't have to do anything right now. In the past after a visit from the paramedics, Mom always did well for a while. The plan became that I would investigate options and find out what was available.

At that time, I also decided to journal when I had contact with Mom and Dad, mostly just the facts so there is a record of what we do and how they are doing.

Here is the journaling that I did before today, from today on I will be blogging, which is just a public journal, right?

8/28/10
Arrived at Mom and Dad's about 11:30 a.m. Dad asked me to cut his hair. He got out the clippers while I got the chair and I cut his hair. I cleaned the usual - cleaned the kitchen, dusted the living room, crubbed the bathrooms, and vacuumed. Then I cooked lunch for all of us - ham sandwiches and peaches. Mom and Dad both cleaned their plates, then I washed the dishes.

8/29/10
Amy went with me for Sunday night cards. When we got there (about 5:30 p.m.) Rita and Marv were just leaving. We set up the table and played a game of hand and foot. During the game, Dad kept asking Mom if she needed anything. After about the 6th time in an hour, Mom snapped at Dad and said she was fine. Dad then, uncharacteristically, snapped back, saying that he was only trying to keep her comfortable. After the game, I heated up the spaghetti I brought over for them. The both ate licorice and popcorn during the card game, then a plate of spaghetti after. I left about 7:00 p.m.

8/30/10
I called Meals on Wheels to see if Mom and Dad would qualify for their services. Meals on Wheels will take a midday meal to homebound seniors up to five days a week. Because Mom doesn't drive, they would qualify. The cost is a suggested donation of $2.50 a meal and they will come on whatever days are agreed upon (Monday through Friday or fewer). I asked if I could make arrangements with them, instead of going to Mom and Dad (knowing that Mom would probably not agree to have them come). I explained that Mom was somewhat stubborn and fiercely independent. The worker very gently explained to me that it is Mom and Dad's choice, not mine, to receive help. She explained that they have rights, and it is their right to choose. She reminded me that they even have the right to make bad choices.

9/3/10
Went to Mom and Dad's and cleaned the house. I apologized to Mom for my behavior and attitude since the paramedics came. She told me it was no big deal, that I was just expressing my opinion. I explained that it was a big deal to me, and I was sorry for trying to force them to do something when it was actually their choice. I let her know that our offer of having someone come into the house to help was still available. I let her know that Meals on Wheels could come out if she decided that would help. I let her know that I would be able to keep doing what I am doing, and if she felt she needed more help to let me know and I could make arrangements to get the help she wanted.

I made them bacon and tomato sandwiches with grapes for lunch. Both ate all of it.

9/5/10
Bill, Morgan, Lisa and Christian all went to Mom and Dad's house at about 5:00 to play cards. I choose not to go because if there is an uneven number of people, then Mom sits out and doesn't play. I wanted her to play. I sent some hamburger potatoe casserole out for their dinner. Everyone came back around 8:30. They were laughing and telling how Dad and Bill were way losing (negative points). Grandma and her partner won the game!

9/6/10
Mom and Dad came to my house! Mom helped tie a quilt that we made for Jeff's Mom's 70th birthday. While Mom helped with the quilt, Dad took a walk around the yard. They were here for about an hour.

9/10/10
This is today! So now I am caught up on the computer blog! Today I went out to Mom and Dad's house and Jane went with me. We got there about 10:15. While I was cleaning house I got a phone call from Dixie. She gave me the name and number of a home health service that could come out everyday and help Mom check her blood sugar and manage her meds. I took down the name and number that she gave me. I wasn't very responsive on the phone because Mom and Dad were listening and I wanted to check out the service before I presented it to them.

A little later while I was still there, Dixie stopped by. She gave Mom the name and phone number and encouraged her to get extra help. She told Mom that if the paramedics came again, they would sweep her right off to an assisted living center. Mom at that point, tuned out and didn't listen much until the topic of conversation was changed.

After Dixie left, I told Mom that she had called me and I had the name and number and would add it to the list of services that are available when she chooses to have more help. Mom then opened up to me and told me that her and Dad are participating in a medical research study for flu shots. She told me how they went to the clinic yesterday and got an flu shot. They have papers that they need to record on daily for a week. Then they will go back to the clinic for another check-up. They will get paid for participating besides getting the flu shot for free.

I fed them a ham sandwich again. (They really like the ham sandwiches. I make them like Mom used to when I was a kid, ham steak on toast with mustard and mayo. Yummy!) We also had apple pears (from Costco) with them.

Jane and I left just before twelve o'clock. Aunt Bonnie was there visiting when we left.

Just a side note: I am enjoying my time with Mom and Dad more since the talk with the worker at the county.